My Story
I have had moderate anxiety and depression for many years. In the early years, I did not like the idea of taking medicine, but I had been on and off it. While the medication did help with anxiety, it did not help with the depression, but I feel my depression was due to a low self-esteem. Plus, it probably would have required a higher dose for it to help with the depression. Whenever I got off the medication, my anxiety would always come back. I finally realized that it would always be with me and there was nothing wrong with taking medicine. After all, I have chemical imbalances, which I have a family history of.
A lot of people suffer in silence with depression and anxiety. Some seeking treatment while others just live with it. It is not a conversation people like to have with others. Everyone has secrets and anxiety and depression were two of mine until something terrible happened to me 2 ½ years ago.
After the birth of my 4th child, I started having extreme anxiety. Everything I looked at made me anxious. I finally told my husband what was going on and so I went to the doctor to get back on my regular medication. That night after taking just one pill earlier that day, I woke up and the skin on my arms, chest, back, and neck felt like it was on fire! It lasted for 3 days and the only thing that would sort of help would be a cool shower. Like a fool I tried to take another pill after that and suffered another 3 days of pain. It made it hard to sleep and I developed insomnia and I was already sleep deprived from having a newborn. I tried other pills in the same category and got the same reaction. Turns out I had a very, very rare reaction to the pills. I ended up in the hospital for 5 days, thus began my Hell that would last for many, many months.
My secret was out for all to see. I had a complete nervous breakdown and developed severe postpartum depression. But even though many people knew what was happening, they were still there to help me and my family get through this really tough time even though no one really knew exactly what I was going through. There is no way I could describe it in words. To understand the suffering I went through you would have had to feel it for yourself. If you could have put your hand inside my soul, you would have been scared to death and scream out in pain!
It took many months and many different combinations of medication before I started to feel better. But I was blessed that someone in my ward who worked with a really good psychiatrist at LDS Family Services offered to help. If not for them, I don’t know where I would be. They cared for me almost on a daily basis to see how the medications were working. If I had not found these people, I would have had to use the psychiatrists at a local hospital and they only see you once a month and if you have a question, they take three days to get back to you.
Through it all I ended up back in the hospital a second time, had my in-laws live with us for 6 weeks, went and stayed with my sister for another six weeks after the in-laws had to leave and my husband hurt his knees in a skiing accident. Yep, our world had turned completely upside down. I don’t know if there were people scared off by what I was going through, I only saw that many people were helping by bringing in meals, cleaning the house, taking care of kids, etc. Plus I had many priesthood blessings.
They say the Lord will not test you beyond what you can handle, but it was. I can’t count how many times I said, “I don’t know how much more of this I can take!” But somehow I made it through each day amongst much suffering. I endured it, and I finally got better with the right combination of medications after 7 long months of Hell. Mind you it still took several months after to finish healing, but I have been feeling great for the last year or so. I don’t consider this terrible trial to be a blessing, but I did let go of a lot of issues I had, changed certain relationships in my life, and gained new friendships.
Despite the bad, there was some good. Furthermore, you would be surprised how many people are actually taking medication for depression. Nowadays, you are not normal if you are not taking some kind of prescription medication.
Monica
Ad feedback
© 2012 Microsoft
Terms
Privacy
About our ads
Advertise
Developers
Help Center
Feedback
English