I am bipolar. I was first diagnosed with depression around age 6. I was able to manage it primarily
with counseling (cognitive behavioral therapy), but by the time I hit high school, it became necessary for me to also use medication to control my depression. In my twenties I began exhibiting symptoms of Bipolar II, and that is when my diagnosis changed to bipolar. I am now nearing my mid-thirties. I have been dealing with my mental health issues for almost three decades.
Over those years I have learned many things that I wish I had known right from the beginning. Here they are.
My apologies if some of the following have already been highlighted by others. That just means what we are saying must be really good advice :).
• Patience, patience, patience.
First, patience for the process. It takes time to find what works. If it's medication, that
takes time. Some times, lots of time to find just the right one. It takes time to find the right
counselor. And then it takes time for the actual counseling. It takes time to learn new
behaviors and new thought patterns. It takes time for lifestyle changes. The process just
takes time.
But it is worth it. So very worth it! Just have patience. This too shall pass.
Second, patience for yourself.
You are going to screw up. No worries. You are not perfect, and that is okay. The thing is to try your best, try again, and just keep on trying. Celebrate
your small successes. There have been times in my life when just rolling out of bed was a
great success. I celebrated those times, and found with that attitude, trying came easier.
Build on those small successes. If you mess up, just start over again. Here is a great talk by
President Uchtdorf that teaches us about patience with ourselves:
http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/general-relief-society-meeting/2011/09/forget-me-not?lang=eng
Third, patience with others. People are willing to support you, but you have to be patient with them. What helps me is to remember that it is the thought that counts, not the “gift.”
Many well intentioned people try to offer me “good” advice more often than I prefer :).
Some of my favorites are “You just need more vitamins.” And, “Have you tried flaxseed
oil?” The flaxseed one is particularly humorous to me because I have indeed tried it, and my goodness did that trigger me into mania! Natural remedies do not work well for me.
What I try to do is have patience with someone offering me advice and just reply with a smile and a thank you. And maybe a brief explanation. Like with the flaxseed situation I say, “Thank you for thinking of me. I have also heard such great things about flaxseed oil.
Unfortunately, flaxseed oil has an imbalance of Omega 3 and 6 oils that tends to trigger mania in me.” I know that the advice comes from a place of love. Remembering that helps me be patient with others. It is also only fair for me to be patient with others if I expect them to be patient with me.
• Stop and look around.
We are promised that we will not be required to endure more than we are able to. Our
Heavenly Father loves us and wants us to be successful during our time here on Earth. He also wants us to learn things which may require some struggling. What I do when I am struggling through a rough patch is to stop and look around. Our Heavenly Father has provided us with a Lord and Savior to help us be successful through our trials. If I take the time to look around, I can see what ways the Lord as provided for me to make it through a trial.
Sometimes it is small things like a phone call from a friend or a scripture I can't get out of my head. Other times it's bigger things like just helping me have the patience to endure a medication change that ended up lasting for months, or blessing me with faith when yet again my life gets turned upside down. These helps along the way are called tender mercies.
One tender mercy I cam so grateful for is a talk by Elder Bednar titled “The
Tender Mercies of the Lord.” There was one med change where I was so worn out and my
brain so befuddled that for weeks all I had the energy to do was roll out of bed and listen to
this talk on my computer. I listened to it over and over again. It changed the way I think about what to do during a trial. I learned how to stop and look around for the things that were there to help me succeed. Here is a link to the talk:
http://www.lds.org/generalconference/2005/04/the-tender-mercies-of-the-lord?lang=eng
Remember to stop and look around. The Lord is there to help you with his tender mercies-
He is there. I promise. Look.
• Fight stigma- with a smile :)
You will come across those who, usually unknowingly, perpetuate the negative stigma
attached to mental illness. If you haven't already, you will at some point be confronted with the stigma of your mental illness. I have found the most effective way for me to fight stigma is with a smile and to always be ready with information for those wanting to know more. Here are some statements I have encountered and how I typically deal with them.
“You don't seem mentally ill.” This one bugs me because it is based on the stereotype
that people with mental health issues are just a bunch of crazies running around acting dysfunctional and whatnot.
My response, with a smile, “Mental illness does not discriminate. Anyone, anywhere, any age can be affected. My bipolar is currently in remission due to my treatment plan which includes medication, lifestyle choices like a good diet, exercise, and my support network.
There are a lot of amazing people out there who also happen to have brains that process things a little differently. I am happy to tell you more if you would like.”
“Mentally ill people shouldn't have kids.” This is my response, with a smile, “I am
bipolar and a parent. Thanks to my dedication to my treatment plan, I am able to keep my mental disorder in remission. My bipolar disorder is not a character flaw- it is a health issue.
Just like diabetes is a health issue not a character flaw. My bipolar disorder is under control, and I am perfectly able to parent. In fact, I do a much better job than most because I am keenly aware that others are watching and judging to see how a “mentally ill” person parents.
Please be a little more compassionate when you judge who should and shouldn't be a parent. If you would like more information about mental health issues, I am happy to tell you more.”
“Children can't have depression (or insert some sort of mental health disorder here).”
My response, with a smile, “Mental illness does not discriminate. Age is not a factor when it comes to mental illness. I can distinctly remember when I was 7 on New Year's Eve sitting in a depressed stupor thinking how I had done nothing with my life and that I was a failure.
Thinking life was not worth living. That is not normal for a 7 year old.
I remember not being able to sleep at night for a good part of 5th grade because I was terrified of fires. I was overwhelmed by anxiety. That is not normal.
Mental illness in children is real, and does exist. The symptoms are not always the same- for me it was deep sadness that wouldn't go away, anxiety and anger. It is important for us as adults to be aware of all the symptoms, so that we can know how to spot children that need our help.
I made it through childhood because I had caring adults who knew the signs and symptoms and got me help. If you would like to know more about how to help children with mental health issues, I am happy to tell you more.”
“Happiness is a choice.” Ugh. Seriously? This one bugs me the most. What I want to
respond is, “That is so true! Just like diabetics have a choice about how insulin is processed in their bodies.” But, saying that won't help anything. So instead, I say, with a smile, “My body neither produces nor processes chemicals in the brain correctly.
Some times chemical imbalances make it impossible for me to “feel” things normally.
It is biological.
I can not choose to feel something I am not biologically able to feel. Just like someone who is missing a leg can't kick a ball with that missing leg. I can, however, choose to get help correcting imbalances. Once my biological imbalances are in check and my brain is functioning, then I can make choices regarding my feelings.
If you would like to know more, I am happy to tell you.”
The stigma associated with mental illness, however, is slowly diminishing. I have watched it over these many years, and am amazed at the progress that has been made.
In my experience, these days I can talk freely and openly with most people about being bipolar, and they are not only understanding,they are well informed.
However, you will still come across a few people who, no matter what you say,
they will never change their minds. Just walk away and don't waste your time with them. You have better things to do with your time.
• Diet, exercise, sleep
Diet, exercise, sleep. Three little things that are the foundation of good mental health. If you are not actively making sure you are eating right, exercising (every little bit counts) and getting the right amount of sleep (make sure it is not too much), your mental health will suffer.
There are countless studies out there detailing the benefits of diet, exercise and
sleep, so I won't say much here. I will just strongly agree that it is astounding the effect a good diet, a little exercise (the more the better) and a good night's rest have on a person's mental well-being.
Hopefully my thoughts have been helpful. For those of you just starting out, keep going. You can do it! It is worth the hard work and patience.
For those of you lucky to be stable right now, speak up and speak out. Speak up so others can learn from you and speak out against stigma. Thanks for reading :).
- Anonymous contributer
Diagnosis can take a long time.... Depression
I believe I have had depression my entire life, but was not diagnosed until about a year and a half ago. I didn’t notice anything was wrong until I was in high school and considered going to counseling a couple times, but the sadness would go away enough that I could function again. This went on for ten more years. My husband, who had seen the signs of depression with his own mother, would often tell me I needed to see someone about it, but the sadness and darkness would go away again and I thought I was fine.
Then a year and a half ago we moved away for my husband’s work. We left our comfort zone and many of our close friends. I didn’t know anyone in our new area and the people at church weren’t very friendly. The sadness and darkness all came back to a point that I could barely function, just enough to maybe shower and feed myself daily. The rest of my time was spent sitting on the couch in front of the TV where I could get away from reality. I didn’t have the energy to do anything else. Doing the simplest chore around the house would exhaust me and I would have to sit and rest for a while afterwards. Thinking about doing any work or going anywhere overwhelmed me. I knew that I needed help.
The first thing I did was made an appointment with a counselor. I was completely against taking medication because I thought it would mess me up somehow and I didn’t think I was severe enough. The moment I sat down in the counselor’s office I started sobbing and she knew I was about to have a nervous breakdown just by looking at me. She told me I needed to see my primary care doctor about some antidepressants. She explained that antidepressants would just get my brain functioning right so she could do her job more effectively, and that they would help with the lack of energy too. A couple days after being on the medication I felt so much better, but I knew that the counseling is what would really help me get better.
That next year I spent one day a week in her office. She was an amazing counselor and I trusted her completely. We got down to the bottom of what was making me so unhappy. I learned that because of some traumatic things that had happened to me while I was young, I was terrified of being rejected by others, I have a low self esteem, which I am still working on daily, and I learned that I stuff my feelings so much that at times I blow up, in the form of these depressed episodes. By knowing these things about myself helped me know how to fix them. I now know that it’s okay if someone tells me no and it’s not something I need to take personal. I read a book called “Self-Esteem” which completely described me and helped me learn how to change the way I think and also helped me understand why I sometimes feel the way I do. My counselor taught me ways to stick up for myself and voice my opinion on things I did not agree with or did not like. Journaling has been a very helpful tool. My counselor would often tell me that depression used to be called an inward expression of anger. I did feel very angry inside and I didn’t know why. Journaling helped me get those feelings out of my head and into words so I could understand what I was actually feeling.
It felt like a long time before I felt normal again. One thing that has been most helpful to me was exercise. Eventually my energy came back enough that I could exercise hard again. I hate exercise and will probably forever hate it, but the feeling you get after you exercise is an amazing high! I’m happy to say that I am no longer taking medication for depression and I know it’s first because I recognize my feelings and know how to handle them, and second because I exercise regularly.
Even though I feel normal and happy again I realize I could have a relapse any time. So I have continued to keep a journal, I try to get out of the house and socialize with other people/adults, I exercise and try to eat healthy, and I set goals and accomplish them giving me things to look forward to.
-Anonymous
Then a year and a half ago we moved away for my husband’s work. We left our comfort zone and many of our close friends. I didn’t know anyone in our new area and the people at church weren’t very friendly. The sadness and darkness all came back to a point that I could barely function, just enough to maybe shower and feed myself daily. The rest of my time was spent sitting on the couch in front of the TV where I could get away from reality. I didn’t have the energy to do anything else. Doing the simplest chore around the house would exhaust me and I would have to sit and rest for a while afterwards. Thinking about doing any work or going anywhere overwhelmed me. I knew that I needed help.
The first thing I did was made an appointment with a counselor. I was completely against taking medication because I thought it would mess me up somehow and I didn’t think I was severe enough. The moment I sat down in the counselor’s office I started sobbing and she knew I was about to have a nervous breakdown just by looking at me. She told me I needed to see my primary care doctor about some antidepressants. She explained that antidepressants would just get my brain functioning right so she could do her job more effectively, and that they would help with the lack of energy too. A couple days after being on the medication I felt so much better, but I knew that the counseling is what would really help me get better.
That next year I spent one day a week in her office. She was an amazing counselor and I trusted her completely. We got down to the bottom of what was making me so unhappy. I learned that because of some traumatic things that had happened to me while I was young, I was terrified of being rejected by others, I have a low self esteem, which I am still working on daily, and I learned that I stuff my feelings so much that at times I blow up, in the form of these depressed episodes. By knowing these things about myself helped me know how to fix them. I now know that it’s okay if someone tells me no and it’s not something I need to take personal. I read a book called “Self-Esteem” which completely described me and helped me learn how to change the way I think and also helped me understand why I sometimes feel the way I do. My counselor taught me ways to stick up for myself and voice my opinion on things I did not agree with or did not like. Journaling has been a very helpful tool. My counselor would often tell me that depression used to be called an inward expression of anger. I did feel very angry inside and I didn’t know why. Journaling helped me get those feelings out of my head and into words so I could understand what I was actually feeling.
It felt like a long time before I felt normal again. One thing that has been most helpful to me was exercise. Eventually my energy came back enough that I could exercise hard again. I hate exercise and will probably forever hate it, but the feeling you get after you exercise is an amazing high! I’m happy to say that I am no longer taking medication for depression and I know it’s first because I recognize my feelings and know how to handle them, and second because I exercise regularly.
Even though I feel normal and happy again I realize I could have a relapse any time. So I have continued to keep a journal, I try to get out of the house and socialize with other people/adults, I exercise and try to eat healthy, and I set goals and accomplish them giving me things to look forward to.
-Anonymous
Exercise and Service helps give "Hope" (anonymous contributor)
Taking Action!
I was diagnosed with severe depression about ten years ago. Although I was able to overcome it, I am still haunted by its symptoms. The difference is now I know what the symptoms and triggers are for me and so I know how to stop it in its tracks before it gets out of hand. Exercise, giving service, getting out of the house, spending time with friends, or doing something creative are the things that help me the most.
Whenever I start to feel anxious, irritable, or depressed, I ask myself, when was the last time I exercised, did something kind for someone else, got out of the house, talked to a good friend, or did something creative? I also ask myself, what am I looking forward to in my life right now? If I don’t have anything that I am excited about, then I plan something to be excited about. It can be as simple as a girl’s night out at the movies or signing up for a class or competition.
Exercise-
I am a certified personal trainer and weight management coach. I also have a degree in exercise and nutrition. I have studied and seen first-hand the positive effects of exercise on relieving anxiety and depression.
As little as 20 minutes of exercise per day can release substantial amounts of serotonin and other “feel good” hormones in your brain that keep you feeling calm, happy, and “normal”. I have had many clients experience this change and for myself personally, I use daily exercise as my preferred form of treatment against anxiety and depression. I am happy to report that I have not needed medication for ten years!
Medication has its place-
I believe that there is a time and place for medication. Usually this is when the depression is severe and you need it to help get you back to a “normal” state. When I had severe depression ten years ago, I was put on an antidepressant which did help me to feel “normal” again so that I could think straight enough to make better choices for my life. I know that everyone is different, but I do encourage people to do more than just rely on a drug to fix their situation.
Depression can be a chemical imbalance in the brain, but I believe that there are almost always underlying issues that trigger the episodes of anxiety and depression. Perhaps you need to take better care of your physical body, including what you feed it.
The wrong kinds of foods can detrimentally affect your moods. (See D&C 89).
Maybe you have relationship issues or need professional counseling to get over a past event. Maybe you need to let go of an old grudge (true forgiveness is powerful medicine!) Perhaps you have too much stress in your life or you have some decisions to make that you have been putting off.
Maybe you simply need to feel in control of your life again by realizing that you are responsible for your own actions and behaviors. My advice is to use medicine to stabilize your brain; then take action to improve your situation. It is much easier to jump over a pit in the ground than to climb back out of it!
Give Service
-President Hinckley was big on the idea that if you are feeling down, the best thing you can do is “go and do” for someone else. Much of our unhappiness is caused by selfishness. Just as serotonin and other “feel good” hormones are released through drugs and exercise, doing something kind for someone else also releases those same happy hormones.
About 5 years ago, I was close to experiencing another episode of depression. One night I was talking with my husband about the matter. In tears I told him how “I” was feeling and how “I” needed this and “I” needed that to be happy. He loving and wisely said some words that I will never forget. He said, “No offense Hun, but when was the last time you did something for someone else?”
I truly believe those words were inspired. They were exactly what I needed to here in that moment. Since then, I have sincerely tried to take his advice. Whenever I am feeling down on myself, I ask myself, “When was the last time I served someone else?” I always find that I have been slacking in that area. Then I go and find someone to serve. I always feel so much better. It works every time! It is by far the best medicine that even money cannot buy!
-"Hope"
I was diagnosed with severe depression about ten years ago. Although I was able to overcome it, I am still haunted by its symptoms. The difference is now I know what the symptoms and triggers are for me and so I know how to stop it in its tracks before it gets out of hand. Exercise, giving service, getting out of the house, spending time with friends, or doing something creative are the things that help me the most.
Whenever I start to feel anxious, irritable, or depressed, I ask myself, when was the last time I exercised, did something kind for someone else, got out of the house, talked to a good friend, or did something creative? I also ask myself, what am I looking forward to in my life right now? If I don’t have anything that I am excited about, then I plan something to be excited about. It can be as simple as a girl’s night out at the movies or signing up for a class or competition.
Exercise-
I am a certified personal trainer and weight management coach. I also have a degree in exercise and nutrition. I have studied and seen first-hand the positive effects of exercise on relieving anxiety and depression.
As little as 20 minutes of exercise per day can release substantial amounts of serotonin and other “feel good” hormones in your brain that keep you feeling calm, happy, and “normal”. I have had many clients experience this change and for myself personally, I use daily exercise as my preferred form of treatment against anxiety and depression. I am happy to report that I have not needed medication for ten years!
Medication has its place-
I believe that there is a time and place for medication. Usually this is when the depression is severe and you need it to help get you back to a “normal” state. When I had severe depression ten years ago, I was put on an antidepressant which did help me to feel “normal” again so that I could think straight enough to make better choices for my life. I know that everyone is different, but I do encourage people to do more than just rely on a drug to fix their situation.
Depression can be a chemical imbalance in the brain, but I believe that there are almost always underlying issues that trigger the episodes of anxiety and depression. Perhaps you need to take better care of your physical body, including what you feed it.
The wrong kinds of foods can detrimentally affect your moods. (See D&C 89).
Maybe you have relationship issues or need professional counseling to get over a past event. Maybe you need to let go of an old grudge (true forgiveness is powerful medicine!) Perhaps you have too much stress in your life or you have some decisions to make that you have been putting off.
Maybe you simply need to feel in control of your life again by realizing that you are responsible for your own actions and behaviors. My advice is to use medicine to stabilize your brain; then take action to improve your situation. It is much easier to jump over a pit in the ground than to climb back out of it!
Give Service
-President Hinckley was big on the idea that if you are feeling down, the best thing you can do is “go and do” for someone else. Much of our unhappiness is caused by selfishness. Just as serotonin and other “feel good” hormones are released through drugs and exercise, doing something kind for someone else also releases those same happy hormones.
About 5 years ago, I was close to experiencing another episode of depression. One night I was talking with my husband about the matter. In tears I told him how “I” was feeling and how “I” needed this and “I” needed that to be happy. He loving and wisely said some words that I will never forget. He said, “No offense Hun, but when was the last time you did something for someone else?”
I truly believe those words were inspired. They were exactly what I needed to here in that moment. Since then, I have sincerely tried to take his advice. Whenever I am feeling down on myself, I ask myself, “When was the last time I served someone else?” I always find that I have been slacking in that area. Then I go and find someone to serve. I always feel so much better. It works every time! It is by far the best medicine that even money cannot buy!
-"Hope"
Kirby & Sherri - Bipolar Experience
I often think the biggest problem with finding competent doctors to help is the arrogance of the doctors themselves. If the patient is fairly intelligent, especially a logical thinker, he/she can out-think the so-called specialists at every turn, using the same words/phrases the doctors use to rationalize or cover up the root problems, eg. stating that he/she was overly tired, had been working too long supporting everyone else, and letting it come to a head.
Another specific instance I recall is when a psychologist told me he “now understands why you have difficulties in interviews”, but he never elaborated, not in that session, or any subsequent session. If you have the answer (at least in your own mind), shouldn’t it be shared with the afflicted? At least, that’s my (logical) thinking.
- Kirby
Hi, I'm Sherri. Shauna asked me if I would contribute to her U-2 site.
I-2 have dealt with a BCD. My husband of 28 years, and now my daughter, 15 years old, are afflicted with bi-polar II disorder. In case you are not aware, BP II consists of periods of mania, depression, and mixed episodes. Mixed episodes are times when both mania and depression are evident. BP II is one of the most difficult BCDs to correctly identify and treat. There are many symptoms of this disorder, but impulsive behavior, broken relationships, and suicide are some of the big ones.
I have learned many things over the span of years that my family has dealt with this issue. I will try to elaborate on some of them briefly. Someday, I may write a book--because that is the length of article I would have to write to effectively cover this span of years and the lessons I have learned—stay tuned :).
At this point in time, I have come to realize that mental illness is simply one of many trials that we may be subjected to in this life. It has a purpose similar to other trials of life. In my mind, the purpose of these trials is to teach us to love unconditionally, as Christ does; to teach us that each life has immense unconditional value; and to teach us to come unto Christ to be healed from the emotional, physical, and spiritual injuries of this life. Christ is the great healer, the light, and the life. He will be the one ultimately, who will bring us up out of the grip of these diseases and their effects, and who will bring us peace. I have experienced this healing myself, and testify that it can come.
This is not a simple process or an easy road. It is one that has literally taken me 28 years to traverse. There is much difficulty in this journey. I would not in any way try to simplify it or make light of the suffering incurred by anyone who is subjected to these trials, but I would offer hope.
At one time my husband and I were at the brink of divorce. At many times he was suicidal. For ten years he was inactive in the church. (We were both returned missionaries who married in the temple and have raised 7 children together.) A few weeks ago, my husband and I spent time together in two temples with extended family and he currently serves in a branch presidency. Our love is stronger than it has ever been. We are truly one.
My one plea to anyone who is in the middle of this trial is: Don't give up! It can get better.
When I took my daughter in to the doctor this summer to try to find some type of medication to ease her symptoms, I told the doctor what I thought her problem was. He listed some symptoms of BP-II and the length of time most people suffer from the disease before obtaining a correct diagnosis.
Most people with BP II have it for 15 years before it is diagnosed and go through 2 to 3 failed relationships. I thought at the time that this sounded about right. I diagnosed my husband. He has yet to find a doctor or counselor who has been helpful, and he has never been correctly medicated.
He currently controls his condition by learned behavioral techniques, awareness of symptoms, and self control of thoughts and self monitoring of mood swings. As a spouse of a BP personality.
I felt like I have gone through at least 3 personalities myself. These personalities correlated with stages I went through: the innocent optimistic stage, the surprise and shock stage, the why does this keep happening stage, the grim determination stage, the somebody help me, I'm not going to survive this stage, and the recognition and recovery stage.
Hopefully these stages will take you less time to go through than they have for us. For my daughter, early recognition and treatment have made a huge difference.
-Sherri
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Another specific instance I recall is when a psychologist told me he “now understands why you have difficulties in interviews”, but he never elaborated, not in that session, or any subsequent session. If you have the answer (at least in your own mind), shouldn’t it be shared with the afflicted? At least, that’s my (logical) thinking.
- Kirby
Hi, I'm Sherri. Shauna asked me if I would contribute to her U-2 site.
I-2 have dealt with a BCD. My husband of 28 years, and now my daughter, 15 years old, are afflicted with bi-polar II disorder. In case you are not aware, BP II consists of periods of mania, depression, and mixed episodes. Mixed episodes are times when both mania and depression are evident. BP II is one of the most difficult BCDs to correctly identify and treat. There are many symptoms of this disorder, but impulsive behavior, broken relationships, and suicide are some of the big ones.
I have learned many things over the span of years that my family has dealt with this issue. I will try to elaborate on some of them briefly. Someday, I may write a book--because that is the length of article I would have to write to effectively cover this span of years and the lessons I have learned—stay tuned :).
At this point in time, I have come to realize that mental illness is simply one of many trials that we may be subjected to in this life. It has a purpose similar to other trials of life. In my mind, the purpose of these trials is to teach us to love unconditionally, as Christ does; to teach us that each life has immense unconditional value; and to teach us to come unto Christ to be healed from the emotional, physical, and spiritual injuries of this life. Christ is the great healer, the light, and the life. He will be the one ultimately, who will bring us up out of the grip of these diseases and their effects, and who will bring us peace. I have experienced this healing myself, and testify that it can come.
This is not a simple process or an easy road. It is one that has literally taken me 28 years to traverse. There is much difficulty in this journey. I would not in any way try to simplify it or make light of the suffering incurred by anyone who is subjected to these trials, but I would offer hope.
At one time my husband and I were at the brink of divorce. At many times he was suicidal. For ten years he was inactive in the church. (We were both returned missionaries who married in the temple and have raised 7 children together.) A few weeks ago, my husband and I spent time together in two temples with extended family and he currently serves in a branch presidency. Our love is stronger than it has ever been. We are truly one.
My one plea to anyone who is in the middle of this trial is: Don't give up! It can get better.
When I took my daughter in to the doctor this summer to try to find some type of medication to ease her symptoms, I told the doctor what I thought her problem was. He listed some symptoms of BP-II and the length of time most people suffer from the disease before obtaining a correct diagnosis.
Most people with BP II have it for 15 years before it is diagnosed and go through 2 to 3 failed relationships. I thought at the time that this sounded about right. I diagnosed my husband. He has yet to find a doctor or counselor who has been helpful, and he has never been correctly medicated.
He currently controls his condition by learned behavioral techniques, awareness of symptoms, and self control of thoughts and self monitoring of mood swings. As a spouse of a BP personality.
I felt like I have gone through at least 3 personalities myself. These personalities correlated with stages I went through: the innocent optimistic stage, the surprise and shock stage, the why does this keep happening stage, the grim determination stage, the somebody help me, I'm not going to survive this stage, and the recognition and recovery stage.
Hopefully these stages will take you less time to go through than they have for us. For my daughter, early recognition and treatment have made a huge difference.
-Sherri
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